Today is 09/04/10. Exactly one decade ago, a climb up Flattop was the genesis of the most chaotic and destructive romantic relationship of my life. I’d love to be able to say something about all the lessons that I took from the experience and how, in the long run, I had no regrets. But that’s not true. I have huge regrets. I made really bad choices that damaged myself, my family, and my friends. During the 5 years that I let this situation continue, the collateral damage resulted in the destruction of my relationship with my best friend, missing the opportunity to have an age-appropriate social experience in college, being kicked out of my childhood home, and having all semblance of my self-respect tested until it crumbled. On top of that, I allowed myself to spend the first five years of my adult life acclimating to being treated in ways that I never should have allowed to occur.

I know this all sounds quite melodramatic. The older I get, however, the more my perspective focuses and reveals the far-reaching impact that this choice has had on shaping my life course.

I detect a pattern. I doubt the pattern is unique to me, but it’s definitely there. The major, perspective-altering events in my life are spacing themselves about 4-5 years apart.

The highlights:
Age 4 - my brother is born
Age 9 - my father dies
Age 13 - my youth pastor is kicked out of my childhood church, marking the beginning of the end when it comes to my relationship with religion
Age 17 - relationship begins
Age 22 - relationship ends
Age 27 - now “Now” can’t be summarized as briefly. Now is a huge career transition. Now is a major life restructuring. Now is entirely changing the way I conduct myself in all of my relationships

Here’s the great thing about this list - it’s finally balancing out. What’s happening in my life right now is the third categorically positive thing on this list of six.

Here’s to moving on.
And a list that’s more ups than downs.